Family….are we talking about yours or mine?

Family….are we talking about yours or mine?

I had a good feeling about the Tax Guy. He was originally from Chicago (there is something about Midwest boys) and comes from a decently sized family. He is 36 (pushing my max limit), an ex soccer player and clearly someone who knows about money.

Tax Guy and I started chatting a few weeks ago, through the eHarmony ‘guided communication’. All of his answers led me to believe he was one of the normal ones. We chatted a few times on the phone and he seemed really nice. It wasn’t until half way through our first call that I noticed something very weird about his speech. He tended to drag out the last word of every sentence. It was like he purposefully elongated the word in order to make a point. If you need a audio clue just say ‘Eeyore’ at the end of a sentence. Now do this after all of your sentences! It kinda drove me nuts. (Red flag number 1)

We spoke a few more times until it was time for us to actually have a date. He told me that he had season tickets to the Suns and wanted to know if I would go to the Suns vs Spurs game on Friday night. I was pretty excited because I have never seen them play live. After he asked me he let me know that there was a small chance that his friend would be stealing my ticket. Seriously?!?! Why would you even ask me to go if there was a chance the ticket wasn’t available? Do you really need a backup?

I get a call on Thursday from the Tax Guy to let me know that his friend is ‘A Jerk’ and that he is going to claim his ticket after all. He said that if I never wanted to speak to him again that was ok, but if I did then we could hang out on Sunday. Why I said yes is beyond me. What kind of guy uninvites someone to an event on their first date? (Red flag #2) Hey buddy….I think I know why you might still be single!

Sunday comes and we decide to meet at a local sushi place. When I walk in he seems to be a lot cuter than his profile picture. He gives me a hug and we head to our table. He takes charge with the menu, asking for little help from me. He orders 3 rolls….I wanted to say “Is that just for you? Because I am gonna need more than that!” The food comes and we dive in…..well I dive in. He barely eats but instead chooses to start this marathon of talking. Here are a few topics that he chose to yap about:

*His friends indiscretions (a few different people)
*How he was this amazing soccer player- then all of his injuries….
*His travels and why he prefers going alone (Red flag #3)
*Mom and Dad (didn’t know if he was referring to his or mine for the first 15 min)
*How running anything less than 10 miles is a waste of his time
*He asked if my parents would be freaked out if I brought a black guy home with me (ok so he is also racist….freakin sweet!)

And the kicker…..this quote came directly out of his mouth…

“You are kind of a big girl to be a figure skater….” WHAT THE F?!?!

After two hours of painful conversation and him not asking me any questions, I was really to get onto date #4! Thank god he never called again!

Hopefully date #4 won’t be so much of a train wreck!